Actually, this statement mainly applies to people with a masculine energy. (No that doesn’t mean MEN, it means men or women who have a stronger masculine energy than their feminine side)… it’s not ALL men that can feel a resistance to getting help. And it’s not ALL women that are comfortable asking for help. Everyone is, in fact, and individual and unique in many ways.
However, what we can see is that there is a tendency for people with a “masculine energy” to dislike asking for help. These personality types have been brought up to believe (and feel) that they should be “independent, strong and solve their own problems”.
It’s ingrained in our culture, and probably in your family’s culture, and your friendship circles, and in the media. Yes, things are changing, and more and more people (masucline energy personalities) are admitting to themselves that they need help, and some are finally doing something about it. … seeking help. But the majority of masculane personalities are still trying to “fix it themselves”, like they do with any other problem…
Well… that’s great… until you try to fix something that is complicated, like a computer, or an electric car. Most people would never take their MacBook Pro apart and start fiddling around with it. Nor would they start pulling their Tesla apart to try and make it work a bit better. … The human brain, it’s motivation, wants, needs, desires, feelings are infinitely more complicated than any of these man-made devices… and yet we think we can “fix it ourselves” with a self-help book, a YouTube video and possibly a TED talk. A relationship is an interaction between TWO human brains, with double the amount of potential problems, and double the amount of agendas, hidden agendas, contradictory feelings and behaviours, driven by differing motivations… but some people still think they can fix it themselves.
Most people take their car to be serviced every year, despite there being nothing wrong with it. We like to keep it maintained, and in good working order.
We let the experts, those with specific eduations and many years experience make sure everything is running well… yet when it comes to ourselves, our feelings, our relationships, some of us refuse to get help, won’t even admit we need help, and feel a deep-seated unease with anyone offering a helping hand when it comes to our relationship, our desires, lusts or feelings. … and this is why predominantly men (or people with a masculaine energy) suffer in silence, and just “live with” frustration, dissatisfaction, and a cold relationship… but by comparison actually invest more money, time, effort in their computer or car, than their own happiness.
“Did someone once say we men were logical? … hmmm.”
Logic would suggest that if there’s a complicated problem, and you tried to fix it yourself, and it didn’t work, and it’s been a while, and it’s still not fixed, then you should probably go to an expert with experience and education, who understands the problem, and has themselves experienced the problem, and has helped others solve that problem before… to get the problem sorted. THAT’s logic, right?
The great thing is that it’s easier than ever to get good help from people that understand, FEEL and know what to do about it. Online video coaching is at your fingertips, in the privacy of your own home, no travel time, and as private as you want it to be. Finally there is a therapy form designed for men (masucline energy personalities). And it’s right here and now.
Let’s love better, ❤️
Relationship & Intimacy Coach